Silly Rabbit, Tits Are For Kids!

Charlie Wilson's War. Directed by Mike Nichols. Starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Even if it didn't have any tits and ass, Charlie Wilson's War would still be a great film. It was well plotted, and the characters were interesting. I chuckled at Charlie Wilson's (played by Tom Hanks) ostentatious dress - the aviator frames, the loud cuff links, the suspenders on pants clearly meant to be worn only with a belt. Gust Avrakotos (played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) was an even bigger fashion disaster, with his plastic frames, ties that hung half way down to his chest, and his ill fitting suits.

Once I got past their appearances though, I found myself strangely moved. Here were all these oddballs, misfits, and geeks, and they did what nobody thought could be done: they brought down the USSR. I didn't miss the subtext (yesterday's allies are now today's enemies) but since the script was written by Aaron Sorkin that came as no surprise.

However, if there are still Wilsons, Gusts, and Herrings running around the U.S.A., I'm sure the war on terror will eventually be won. If Niall Ferguson and Victor Davis Hanson have taught me anything, it's that cash, teamwork, and individual initiative invariably trump ideological fervor.

But enough about fashion and politics. What I really want to talk about is tits. Although they aren't really integral to the plot, I thought it was a nice retro touch, giving the film an even greater aura of authenticity.

On a subtextual level, all the nudity, cleavage, and scantily clad women showed just how much heart the film had. Not only did Mike Nichols direct an interesting story about fascinating people, he also threw in some hot naked chicks. What more could a guy ask for in a movie?